Pinterest Tells All

by Miranda Cloyd

Board: Unashamedly Laughed At This.

Status: Public.

Pins: 214.

Analysis: You like to laugh. You’re easily entertained by well-timed pictures of animals doing odd things paired with a witty caption which changes the context completely. For example: a picture of two goats, one holding a red purse in its mouth, the other with a bag slung over its neck. Caption: “Totes mah goats.”

As the grammar and English nerd that you are, you also find autocorrect and public writing mistakes to be quite comical. For example, a texting conversation mistake between person A and person B:

A: I don’t know how to make you forgive me. I apologized a thousand times. What more do you want?

B: Actions speak louder than wombats.

B: HAHAHA Words. That was funny. But I’m still really mad at you.

Finally, as a believer in Jesus, you find a little bit of sacrilege to be hilarious. You find the humor in your beliefs, and you think Jesus does, too. God created humor so He has to have it. For example: a picture of a sign that says “no running” standing in a few feet of water. The caption reads: “Behave yourself, Jesus.”

Board: Little Ashamed I Laughed.

Status: SECRET. (Shared with: Maddison Cloyd, your 18-year-old sister.)

Pins: 206.

Analysis: There are some things you find funny that you know you shouldn’t. If Gramma or Mom saw these pins, they’d question the security of your salvation. There are certain people in your life with whom you do not share this humor. You have a fear that they may think less of you for it. You are amused by well-placed profanity that, though obviously excessive, makes what is said much more comical. For example: “Tupperware. More like tupperWHERE THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING LID.”

Crude sexual humor brings out your inner middle-schooler, whom you secretly never plan to get rid of. If you’re going to teach middle school, you’ll need to understand what makes them tick and cracks them up. Good cover. For example: A picture of a garden gnome laying on his side, propped up on one elbow, smoking a pipe. The caption reads: “I want to be inside your lady garden. GNOMESAYIN??”

Although you do not have a Tumblr account and never plan to get one, you definitely appreciate the late-night musings of those who frequent the site. There is something that really tickles your funny bone about a great one-liner, especially multiple from many contributors, one after the other. For example:

A: On the bright side, I am not addicted to crack cocaine.

B: On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

C: One crack cocaine.

D: Hello drug dealer yes I would like to purchase one crack cocaine please.

E: Debit or credit?

F: I actually have a gift card.

Miranda Cloyd is a senior English major in the process of getting certified for Secondary Education. She loves to write from her experiences, finding interest and beauty in the day-to-day. Miranda plans to teach middle school English and hopes to instill her love of reading and writing in today’s youth.

Pinterest Jesus is from here.


One thought on “Pinterest Tells All

  1. ha! So true! I do the same thing with Facebook. My select friends get a lot of private messages in which I say, “My mom would not understand this….” And yes, profanity deftly applied can be hilarious.

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